My weekly emails are for you if you want a transformational SHOT OF POSITIVITY that makes you think, gets you laughing, and sparks a positive change. Start each week inspired.
π‘It's not fair!
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temper tantrumReader can you relate? I really want to make VP before I turn 35. There aren't that many positions. Someone has to leave or die. So when a VP position opens in the distribution center in Ohio, and my boss says I should apply, I do.
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A few weeks later, I am flying to Grove City to interview. I am introduced to my male counterpart within the distribution organization, who is also a candidate for this VP role.
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Immediately, I know this guy already has the job on lockdown, and my interview is a formality to appease an HR requirement.
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I feel bitter and somewhat foolish, like I am the butt of a joke I wasn't in on.
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Sure enough, within the week, his promotion is announced.
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Several months later, I receive this assignment during a leadership workshop I am attending: Think of a situation in which you feel you are a victim of circumstances or someone's behavior.
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I tell the story of the VP job interview. In my story, the leaders interviewing me knew they wanted their guy in the job, and I am the "corporate" person they have to interview so they can say they considered a "diverse" slate of candidates before picking the white dude.
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The next exercise is to retell the same story and take 100% accountability for everything that happened.
WHATTTT???? I start again.
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"I got to fly to Grove City, Ohio, to interview for a VP position. Even though there was an on-site candidate who knew the operation better than me and had the "inside track," I had the opportunity to complete five interviews and show up in a way that was so compelling that it forced the interviewers to rethink their assumption that their inside man was the best candidate for the job. I didn't get the job because I didn't nail that assignment."
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I finish and I am struck to my core.
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I 100% recognize that my first story paints me as a victim who was wronged by others.
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Yet, my second story highlights my power and agency in that situation. I could have been the girl who blew them away, and I wasn't.
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I realize that my internal stories are making me the victim I don't want to be, and I decide that my new mission is to change this thinking within myself.
Reader, this was one of the most formative revelations in my life over 20 years ago. It is a lesson that has never left me. Sitting in my victim story, I was like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum: Giving away my power and only hurting myself. Reader, I knew then and there that I needed to give up my victimhood habit. I started asking myself: How am I contributing to the issue, and how can I be part of the solution? Why is this so powerful, you ask? Because it centers attention on the only thing you can control--yourself. You can choose actions that optimally leverage your agency toward your desired outcome. You get to flex your autonomy. Autonomy, having independence over one's will and actions, is one of the three fundamental human needs identified in the self-determination theory research, which is why it is a core component of my new 5-point STAR TREATMENT leadership method, the only way to sustain high performance during tumultuous times. Reader, the headlines are already filled with news of businesses closing, lay-offs, and significant reductions in business forecasts. The scarcity and fear messages are coming at people from all sides, and their victim narrative will leave them disenfranchised and exhausted from their internal temper tantrums. STAR TREATMENT shifts to a narrative of abundance and caring at a time when you need it most, and in an authentic way that team members experience immediately. Be a part of the solution before the low morale and performance overtake your team. Let me teach you to give your team STAR TREATMENT.
β Are you subscribed to The Story I'm Telling Myself Podcast? Give us a 5-star review and share an episode with a friend: Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Musicββ Join me this week for these live episodesEpisode 26 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTubeβ Episode 27 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTubeβ Episode 28 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTubeβ β The Story Iβm Telling Myself is for anyone who wants to overcome the limitations of self-doubt and live a life of purpose and fulfillment. Through candid conversations, you'll discover:
Real-life stories of courage and resilience: Gain inspiration from everyday people who overcame their negative self-talk to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. Listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music.β |
βRita Ernst, Positivity Influencer
My weekly emails are for you if you want a transformational SHOT OF POSITIVITY that makes you think, gets you laughing, and sparks a positive change. Start each week inspired.
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