Hey Reader! 👋 I hope you enjoyed a fun and restful holiday weekend.

I played a lot of pickleball. I love the friendly camaraderie of this sport.

On Saturday, I got really down on myself. I was frustrated—missing shots, poor returns. I even caught my shirt on the fencing and tore a hole in it.

I put myself in a time-out.

As I walked to the fountain to refill my water bottle, I did a mental check-in.

Yes, I was frustrated. I could leave my hand on that hot stove of negativity, or I could acknowledge it and let it go.

At the heart of my anger wasn't losing, it was not being "good enough."

Every mistake I made in the game was more fuel for my inner Miranda to slide her glasses down her nose in scorn.

I left the courts that day feeling like I had a bad day.

Then something unexpected happened.

My friends sent me videos from our court that day.

As I watched, I saw something completely different from what I was experiencing on the court—I was making more shots than I was missing. I was placing the ball well, so well that my opponents were returning the ball to my partner 60% or more frequently than to me.

Yes, I missed some returns that I could have made with better footwork, focus, and follow-through (the three F's to elevating your pickleball game once you've mastered the basics). But my error rate was relatively low. And I had more winning shots to finish the point than I had losing shots.

Reader, here was personal proof of the Human Operating System in action and the head trash it creates.

1. FEELING: Disappointment in myself when I made an error.
2. THOUGHT: My inner critic, Miranda, started reciting my "not good enough" story.
3. FEELING: Frustration.
4. ACTION: More focus on perfection than enjoyment of the game.
5. THOUGHT: Every point became a measure of my capabilities as a player. Every mistake an indictment.
6. FEELING: Unworthiness triggered my anger at myself and others.
7. ACTION: Increased negative attitude (no longer enjoying the game).
8. THOUGHT: Winning the game is the measure that matters.
9. FEELING: Defeated and incapable.
10. ACTION: Formed the belief that I played badly that day.

Self-fulfilling prophecy in real time.

Descartes may have been arguing thinking as proof of existence, but the human operating system proves that "I think, therefore I am" has a much broader application. Whatever story you think about yourself will become your reality.

Reader, so here's your invitation to interrupt the negative story you're telling yourself about who you are and what you are capable of.

Since you likely don't have a video replay to watch, here are a few questions you can use to help you interrupt and rewrite the story you are telling yourself:

• What are the thoughts and actions perpetuating your negative feelings?
• What observable data underlie this loop?
• Talk to yourself like you would a toddler (tip from last week's episode of The Story I'm Telling Myself Podcast with Maggie Harlow); what kinder interpretations could you make of this situation?
• If you stopped viewing this as a win/lose situation, how would your thoughts, feelings, and actions shift?
• Retell the story from the assumption that you are worthy, capable, and competent. What shifts? What possibilities open?

Reader, I just can't say it enough. The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives and experiences in powerful ways.

This is your reminder to stop letting your inner critic control the narrative.

Reshaping this habit requires focus and intention. For weekly inspiration, subscribe to my podcast, The Story I'm Telling Myself, and be sure to share your favorite episodes with a friend.

P.S.

If you are looking for someone to positively energize your room, whether it's 10 or 100 people, I'd love to help you out. Just hit reply, and we'll grab a few minutes to talk.

Have a joyful week!

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