Which wolf is winning in your life?


Reader, you're here! Thanks for opening this email.

In 2022 I published my book, Show Up Positive. It's a simple playbook to increase the positive experiences in your life by choosing daily actions that foster positive behaviors in the world around you.

It is a battle plan to feed the good wolf* inside you.

*A grandfather describes to his grandson a battle between two wolves within oneself. In this metaphor for inner conflict, one wolf is kind and good, the other is mean and bad. The boy asks, "Which wolf wins?" The grandfather answers, "Whichever one you feed."

For the past three years, I've been naming the inner wolf battles and showing people how to feed the good wolf.

Reader, I have witnessed how easily our human nature results in thought cycles that feed the bad wolf:

  • victim narratives
  • subjugation of self
  • chasing fame, wealth, materialism, happiness, etc.
  • avoidance strategies

Your bad wolf looks outside of you for gratification. The mantra of the bad wolf begins, "I'll be happy when..."

The Good Wolf

Your good wolf focuses within because she understands that when you are centered and gratification flows from within you, you are the strongest, most resilient version of yourself.

She knows the wisdom of asking, "What do I need right now?" and prioritizing it.

One secret you should know from the science of happiness is that your good wolf feasts when you focus on what brings meaning to your life.

It is too easy to fall into the trap of routine and obligation. It sounds like this, "(sigh), I have to..."

"I have to" phrases are traps that feed your bad wolf, leading to obligation, frustration, and resentment.

So Reader I want to offer you a simple reframe to shift from feeding your bad wolf to feeding your good wolf:

"I Get To..."

I have to stay late to finish this report becomes I get to honor myself by delivering this report on time, as promised

I have to go to my family cookout tonight becomes I get to show my family how much I value them by spending time together tonight

I have to start over becomes I get a second chance to apply what I learned the first time and do even better this time

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Reader, hear me. I'm not promising that you will feel joyful just because you convert your "I have to" to an "I get to."

It will, however, feel less sucky because now you are operating from a why that is bigger than obligation.

And don't be surprised, as you start this practice, to hear your bad wolf saying, "You can't fool me, this is BS." If she's been well fed, she's not going to give up easily.

So, stick with it for June. Make a real effort to convert your 'have' to a 'get', and then judge the results.

I'm looking forward to hearing how it's going.

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NOTE:

This "meaning" practice is part of my Star TreatmentπŸ’«5-point System which applies the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology to deliver LONG-TERM RETENTION: Retain the best people without the added cost of perks; COST SAVINGS: Retain institutional knowledge and reduce the expense of talent replacement; PERFORMANCE: Full discretionary effort from employees and resilience in the face of any challenge.

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Have an extraordinary week!

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The Story I’m Telling Myself is for anyone who wants to overcome the limitations of self-doubt and live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Through candid conversations, you'll discover:

  • The hidden costs of listening to your inner critic: How fear and doubt sabotage your confidence, happiness, and success.
  • Transformational strategies for silencing the negative voice: Learn how to overcome self-doubt, embrace vulnerability, and step into your true potential.
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Rita Ernst, Positivity Influencer

My weekly emails are for you if you want a transformational SHOT OF POSITIVITY that makes you think, gets you laughing, and sparks a positive change. Start each week inspired.

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