What are you avoiding?


Reader, procrastinating is the sneaky play of your avoider.

Your avoider uses a variety of stories to trick you into inaction:

  • I don't want to do that thing
  • It can wait till later
  • Maybe somebody else will take will take care of it
  • I'm not ready yet
  • I can't do it well enough so I might as well not try

And although there's truth in each story, it's only a half truth. The other half of the story is:

  • If I get this done now I will get it off of my mind
  • The sooner this is done the sooner I can focus on something else else
  • The only way I will get better is to practice so I might as well start now
  • I will feel better once I get this off my plate
  • Doing something to the best of my ability is better than doing nothing

During a conversation with a client this week, he had a huge insight about one of his managers who who didn't want to fire an employee because of their friendliness...

"He doesn't see that he has the opportunity to better a bad situation by providing a supportive conversation: Hey I'm sorry this role wasn't right for you. I know you gave a good effort and that is why I am confident that you will do great when you find the right position somewhere else. And I am happy that can ease you through that transition with this severance package."

Reader, does your avoider sell you short like this?

How often do you focus on the bad and ignore the opportunity that is also present?

This week I challenge you to catch and question your avoider:

  • What could I gain by taking action?
  • What opportunity is also possible in this situation?
  • What can I learn?
  • How will I grow and improve by trying?

No manager that I know, except our current Commander in Chief, relishes firing people.

However it is a moment to practice empathy and grace as you ease someone else through what is 100% more difficult for them.

Yes it will challenge you, yet you have it in you to rise to the occasion.

This week start by pausing instead of defaulting to the avoider, and giving yourself permission to see take the positive action.

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My 5-point System applies the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology to deliver:

LONG-TERM RETENTION: Retain the best people without the added cost of perks.

COST SAVINGS: Retain institutional knowledge and reduce the expense of talent replacement.

PERFORMANCE: Full discretionary effort from employees and resilience in the face of any challenge.

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Catch Up on 'the story i'm telling myself' podcast

Give us a 5-star review and share an episode with a friend: Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music​

​Episode 1 with Karen Laos: Are You Enough? Finding your inner power

​Episode 2 with Gail Kraft: Is Your Fear of Abandonment Running the Show?

​Episode 3 with Sandra Adeyeye Bello: Am I Worth It? A question too many are afraid to answer

​Episode 4 with Leslie Minchin: Are You Busy or Just Avoiding Your Life?

​Episode 5 with Srivatsan Aravamudan: Broken, Dirty, Not Enough? The journey to self-acceptance

​Episode 6 with Vivian Blade: How Do I Say "I Lost My Job?"

​Episode 7 with Angie Redmon: Who Am I Letting Down? The hidden cost

​Episode 8 with Debbie Potts: I Refuse to Settle: Rewriting my story after a life-changing diagnosis

​Episode 9 with Tandra Price: Can I Do That? Unleashing your inner power

​Episode 10 with Ronda Berns: Am I the Prey? Overcoming fear and mastering sales

​Episode 11 with Carmen Alvarez: Can Joy and Grief Really Co-exist?

​Episode 12 with Melissa Robinson Hussain: Who Do You Want to Be? Coaching Yourself to Radical Transformation

​Episode 13 with Tiersa Hall: Is This Risk Too Bigβ€”Or Just the One You Need to Take?

​Episode 14 with Gary Spencer: Why You Should Pause Before Your Next Big Move (A Million-Dollar Lesson)

​Episode 15 with Susan LePLae Miller: Did I Abandon Myself Again?

​Episode 16 with Sharon Summerfield: I'm being undermined, now what?

​Episode 17 with Misah Safran: Am I Just a Wilting Flower?

​Episode 18 with Elisa Juarez: If Not Me, Who?

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The Story I’m Telling Myself is for anyone who wants to overcome the limitations of self-doubt and live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Through candid conversations, you'll discover:

  • The hidden costs of listening to your inner critic: How fear and doubt sabotage your confidence, happiness, and success.
  • Transformational strategies for silencing the negative voice: Learn how to overcome self-doubt, embrace vulnerability, and step into your true potential.
  • The power of a mindset shift: Discover how changing your internal dialogue can lead to extraordinary results.

Real-life stories of courage and resilience: Gain inspiration from everyday people who overcame their negative self-talk to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music.

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Rita Ernst, Positivity Influencer

My weekly emails are for you if you want a transformational SHOT OF POSITIVITY that makes you think, gets you laughing, and sparks a positive change. Start each week inspired.

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