Reader if I'm new to your inbox, thanks for the welcome. If I've been here for a while, thanks for always welcoming me.

This week I want to talk to you about the dangers of the conformity trap, a destructive organizational dynamic that prioritizes harmony and avoidance over truth and effectiveness.

Here is a deeper dive into the concept, its mechanics, and why it’s so detrimental to business health:

The Conformity Trap: The High Price of “Getting Along”

The conformity trap is the state where a group—whether a small team or an entire company—unconsciously defaults to agreement, not because they genuinely believe in the decision, but because they fear the consequences of dissent .

It is directly related to the principle that “conflict is problematic when we make personal attacks instead of attacking the problem.” When challenging an idea carries the risk of being marginalized, shamed, or rejected, smart people self-censor. They retreat into the safety of consensus.

1. The Mechanics of the Trap

The trap is set by three interwoven psychological forces:

2. The Financial and Human Costs

The conformity trap is not merely a “soft skills” issue; it is a primary driver of financial waste and human resource instability.

• Wasted Talent: When smart employees are forced to keep quiet, their intellectual value is lost. This leads to higher employee turnover (people leave because they are demoralized and feel unheard) and low morale, which translates into lower productivity.
• Failed Projects: If a flawed decision is made (e.g., a bad product launch or a poor investment), the root cause is rarely the lack of data, but the lack of courage to challenge the person who proposed the flawed idea.
• Customer Disconnect: Organizations stuck in the trap fail to connect their internal harmony with the outside world. They make decisions that feel good internally, but that the customer finds frustrating or confusing, directly eroding the “meaning to mega bucks” connection.

3. The Escape Route (The “Glow Up”)

Escaping the conformity trap requires intentional, behavioral changes from the leadership down:

• Redefine Conflict: Recognize that a strong emotional reaction from an employee is often a sign of caring and alignment with the mission, not disrespect.
• Seek the 10%: Adopt the mandate to remember that every idea is at least 10% right, and your job is to find it. This shifts the discussion from “my idea vs. yours” to “how do we use the best piece of your idea to improve mine?”
• Acknowledge and Align First: Leaders must seek first to understand, acknowledge, and align, then offer how they see it differently. By leading with validation, you lower the emotional stakes and make it safe for others to engage in the debate.

The conformity trap is easy to tumble into.

If you are ready to level up your leadership and escape the perils of the conformity trap, let's talk.

PS - I'm planning Season 2 of The Story I'm Telling Myself podcast. Who should I invite to the show? Please send your recommendations and wishlist of guests

​

The BEST Review of Show Up Positive Ever

​

​

​

My 5-point System applies the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology to deliver:

LONG-TERM RETENTION: Retain the best people without the added cost of perks.

COST SAVINGS: Retain institutional knowledge and reduce the expense of talent replacement.

PERFORMANCE: Full discretionary effort from employees and resilience in the face of any challenge.

​

​

Catch Up on 'the story i'm telling myself' podcast

Give us a 5-star review and share an episode with a friend: Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music​

​Episode 1 with Karen Laos: Are You Enough? Finding your inner power

​Episode 2 with Gail Kraft: Is Your Fear of Abandonment Running the Show?

​Episode 3 with Sandra Adeyeye Bello: Am I Worth It? A question too many are afraid to answer

​Episode 4 with Leslie Minchin: Are You Busy or Just Avoiding Your Life?

​Episode 5 with Srivatsan Aravamudan: Broken, Dirty, Not Enough? The journey to self-acceptance

​Episode 6 with Vivian Blade: How Do I Say "I Lost My Job?"

​Episode 7 with Angie Redmon: Who Am I Letting Down? The hidden cost

​Episode 8 with Debbie Potts: I Refuse to Settle: Rewriting my story after a life-changing diagnosis

​Episode 9 with Tandra Price: Can I Do That? Unleashing your inner power

​Episode 10 with Ronda Berns: Am I the Prey? Overcoming fear and mastering sales

​Episode 11 with Carmen Alvarez: Can Joy and Grief Really Co-exist?

​Episode 12 with Melissa Robinson Hussain: Who Do You Want to Be? Coaching Yourself to Radical Transformation

​Episode 13 with Tiersa Hall: Is This Risk Too Big—Or Just the One You Need to Take?

​Episode 14 with Gary Spencer: Why You Should Pause Before Your Next Big Move (A Million-Dollar Lesson)

​Episode 15 with Susan LePLae Miller: Did I Abandon Myself Again?

​Episode 16 with Sharon Summerfield: I'm being undermined, now what?

​Episode 17 with Misha Safran: Am I Just a Wilting Flower?

​Episode 18 with Elisa Juarez: If Not Me, Who?

​Episode 19 with Leanne Elliott: What's Really Stopping You From Asking For Help?

​Episode 20 with Susan Collins: Will I Be As Good?

​Episode 21 with Tracy Borreson: From Leavable To Limitless

​Episode 22 with Kelly Charles-Collins: What If You Stopped Leaving Yourself Behind?

​Episode 23 with Karen Taylor: Am I to Blame?

​Episode 24 with Sabrina Victoria: Go Big or Go Bigger?

​Episode 25 with Olivia Fitchett: From Anxiety to the White House

​Episode 26 with Andrea Bjorkman: Too Old to Start Over?

​Episode 27 with Jenn Whitmer: Obedience Isn't Enough

The Story I’m Telling Myself is for anyone who wants to overcome the limitations of self-doubt and live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Through candid conversations, you'll discover:

• The hidden costs of listening to your inner critic: How fear and doubt sabotage your confidence, happiness, and success.
• Transformational strategies for silencing the negative voice: Learn how to overcome self-doubt, embrace vulnerability, and step into your true potential.
• The power of a mindset shift: Discover how changing your internal dialogue can lead to extraordinary results.

Real-life stories of courage and resilience: Gain inspiration from everyday people who overcame their negative self-talk to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music.

​

​​​