Reader, I'm over here trying to look like the cool cow girl, only I just stepped in a big pile of manure while the cameras were rolling. 🤦‍♀️

Last week, episode 9 of 'the story i'm telling myself' didn't happen because my guest didn't show.

A couple of minor bumps had caused episodes to start late, but this was the first time I had been a complete no-show.

At two minutes past the start time, I texted and emailed. Crickets.

As three minutes became four, I started thinking about what I would do.

I knew this was likely to happen at some point and had the fleeting thought that I needed a plan, such as having a solo episode ready to go, but I hadn't followed through.

Should I cancel the event now? Should I go live and say something?

In my heart, I knew I needed to go live. Not doing so would be like a doorbell ditch prank.

Plus, how hypocritical of me not to practice the show's core concept, so I asked myself, "What is the story you're telling yourself?"

Here are the answers that flooded my mind:

• People are backing you and showing up for these live episodes, and you broke their trust in you
• Your communication with the guest was poor
• You didn't send the reminder email
• You should have better processes to mitigate this risk
• You look so amateurish
• You let everybody down
• This was avoidable
• You aren't working hard enough
• You should have followed up sooner when the guest wasn't engaging on the promo posts

You get the idea, Reader. It was a lot of the self-blame game.

The most significant one was the first one. I owed my listeners, and I knew I had to go live and publicly apologize.

Reader, this feels like a good moment to pause and discuss why the self-blame game is strong.

Three decades ago, when I started my professional career, I was taught that the only acceptable thing was perfection:

• The slightest grammatical error on your resume completely disqualified your competence to ever be hired.
• Any visible mistake in your work was grounds to question your effort and competence.
• Conducting yourself in any off-putting way in front of an executive leader was a career-ending move.

In other words, any public error was justification for complete rejection, and there was no one to blame but myself.

There were no exceptions. Every business leader was taught to think this way and hold this standard as truth.

Since the turn of the century, with the dot com bubble burst and the failure of the financial sector, the narrative has somewhat shifted.

Although perfectionism is still the measuring stick many adopt, there is also more acceptance that errors do not equal character flaws, which I teach to the leaders I work with.

Once again, time to take my own medicine.

I needed to accept my errors as part of my humanness instead of an innate character flaw.

So, I hit the live button. I apologized. I owned my mistake. Then, I expressed my confidence in my listeners' ability to forgive me.

I tell audiences that we have to fail up—learn from our errors and incorporate them to improve our future selves—because failure is only a failure if we don't learn from it.

So the ninth episode of 'the story i'm telling myself' wasn't a failure. It showed me the holes in my guest process that needed repair.

I could have chosen to listen to my internal narrative of embarrassment and shame, but I didn't.

Instead, I embraced my imperfection and the learning opportunity it presented.

The bonus was that I got to do that in a very public way, which hopefully gives others permission and courage to do the same.

I used to think 'sorry, not sorry' was a passive-aggressive play.

I'm choosing to claim it as an anthem for embracing my imperfect self with love and acceptance.

How about you, Reader? What's your 'sorry, not sorry' story of loving and accepting your imperfection?

Maybe you should come share it on 'the story i'm telling myself.'

Have an extraordinary week,

Join me this week for these live episodes

Episode 7 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube​

Episode 3 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube​

​

Episode 9 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube​

The Story I’m Telling Myself is for anyone who wants to overcome the limitations of self-doubt and live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Through candid conversations, you'll discover:

• The hidden costs of listening to your inner critic: How fear and doubt sabotage your confidence, happiness, and success.
• Transformational strategies for silencing the negative voice: Learn how to overcome self-doubt, embrace vulnerability, and step into your true potential.
• The power of a mindset shift: Discover how changing your internal dialogue can lead to extraordinary results.

Real-life stories of courage and resilience: Gain inspiration from everyday people who overcame their negative self-talk to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

PS - please share this with a friend

​

​​​