My weekly emails are for you if you want a transformational SHOT OF POSITIVITY that makes you think, gets you laughing, and sparks a positive change. Start each week inspired.
What if I suck at this?
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Reader Do you meet new situations with trepidation or elation? As much as I want to be the latter, when I find myself out of my comfort zone, anxiety accompanies me. Thanks to my friend Laurie, I have just wrapped up my first three-week session of pickleball lessons. I'm feeling pretty green, but I understand the game's rules, and I know I need to practice to keep improving, so I decide to join my husband at neighborhood pickleball.
I walk into the gymnasium at 10 a.m., the appointed time for beginners. The regular crew is actively playing. Renee, a friend from the neighborhood book club, greets me warmly. This is entirely different from the courts I learned on. The thin tape marks outlining the pickleball court blend with the basketball court markings. It looks like hieroglyphs, and I feel so unprepared that I kindly bow out and turn to leave.
I go home and sign up for a second round of pickleball lessons with my friend Laurie.
Fast forward to yesterday [3 weeks later]...
I'm headed to my first pickleball open-play event with a group organized by my class instructor. I expect to meet up with several classmates and am eager to learn how the open play works.
I join three people I don't know. We do a short warmup, and the game begins. I think: "Oh, I am going to look like an idiot asking my partner what the score is because I've lost track," followed by, "You are going to let your partner down." I am so tense that I mess up my serves and struggle to keep my head in the game. Luckily, my partner is missing shots too, so I don't feel like our loss is all on my shoulders.
A friend from class finishes her game after me. I greet her and meet her sister. I ask them to receive so I can warm up my serve. Then, a fourth classmate arrives, and we play. Now I am feeling more relaxed and my game is improving. I am even doing well keeping score. I'm having a great time, and we play for an hour before we cede the court to an awaiting group.
What's telling about my pickleball adventure yesterday is how much my anxiety got in my way. The biggest difference between my first game and my second was simply my comfort level. Being with people I knew I couldn't disappoint because we were learning together was psychological safety, and it was freeing. Reader Have you experienced a moment of shame when someone expressed deep disappointment in you? For most of us, our earliest experience of this was in childhood. Parents, teachers, and coaches all delivered the "Rita, I'm disappointed in you" words to me. The residual lesson that lives in my body is that I should avoid situations where I am at high risk of disappointing others. Shame makes you feel that your true self is inadequate. Once I was with my friends, my concerns of inadequacy and potential shame evaporated:
I'm sharing this story with you because it is a helpful insight into Psychological Safety, one of the most powerful and misunderstood constructs of a healthy workplace. What Psychological Safety is Not (source: Leaderfactor.com)
The Psychological Safety Experience
Reader, think about yourself. Which describes how you feel at work-- anxious and inadequate or accepted and able to be vulnerable? My 25 years as an organizational psychologist are riddled with examples of underperforming organizations where the fear of being embarrassed, marginalized, or punished in some way defined the employee experience and prevented the turnaround the company needed from materializing. I've also seen the power of psychological safety in action. Teams that thrived and delivered consistently strong results because of the respect, trust, and innovation psychological safety fostered. Never underestimate the power of 🌟making a mistake and realizing your value and belonging were not endangered 🌟taking a risk that didn't work out and being asked what you learned instead of what went wrong 🌟expressing your alternative idea and being celebrated for new thinking 🌟disagreeing with a teammate without putting your relationship at risk Psychological safety is well-being in action because it stops the shame cycle and affirms the worth of everyone involved. That is why it is a core component of my new 5-point STAR TREATMENT leadership method, a six-month leadership development program that empowers you to actively engage with your employees in a way that’s radically different from anything you’ve done before—creating genuine connections, boosting morale, and driving long-term success. Reader it's time to meet today's workforce where they are and draw out your teams' unique talents, creating a dynamic, collaborative, and deeply fulfilling workplace. When employees feel truly seen, heard, and valued, they don't just show up --they bring their best, driving innovation, connection, and long-term success.
Are you subscribed to The Story I'm Telling Myself Podcast? Give us a 5-star review and share an episode with a friend: Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music Join me this week for these live episodesEpisode 24 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube Episode 25 live stream available through LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube The Story I’m Telling Myself is for anyone who wants to overcome the limitations of self-doubt and live a life of purpose and fulfillment. Through candid conversations, you'll discover:
Real-life stories of courage and resilience: Gain inspiration from everyday people who overcame their negative self-talk to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. Listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music. |
Rita Ernst, Positivity Influencer
My weekly emails are for you if you want a transformational SHOT OF POSITIVITY that makes you think, gets you laughing, and sparks a positive change. Start each week inspired.
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