​​Reader, is who you were standing in the way of who it's time to become?

I can clearly identify three times in my life when I have conciously made the decision to make a major change that required me to shed the skin of who I'd been.

The first was my decision to leave corporate life. My inner high achiever was large and in charge. A massive part of my identity and self-worth was tied to professional success. I had a proven track record of climbing the corporate ladder, navigating the halls of Fortune 100 companies, and earning respect and accolades. But without the titles, paychecks, and corporate validation, I struggled to know who I really was. My early years as a freelance consultant and coach saved me—allowing me to tap into my professional drive while creating the flexibility to prioritize my family and be the wife I always joked that I needed when I was the full-time working mom.

The second was during my older daughter’s early teenage years. I’m not going to lie, Reader, I had become a frustrated mom who yelled at my kids. I had allowed my inner pleaser to take the reins in my family life, and by the time she reached middle school, I was exhausted from putting myself at the bottom of the priority list. My internal narrative was running on repeat: “I’m giving everything, and no one in my family is reciprocating.”

It wasn’t that they didn’t help when asked, but I was caught in the double-barreled trap of the pleaser:

1. I had trained my family that it was my pleasure to put them first.
2. I resented the fact that despite anticipating their needs, they didn’t automatically do the same for me when I was struggling.

With the help of a lovely family therapist, I saw the pattern. I was able to shift away from angry outbursts toward clearly asking for what I needed and holding firm boundaries against putting myself last.

The third and most recent time arrived when my younger daughter got her driver’s license. Suddenly, I was freed from co-mingling our schedules. I could say yes to things just for me—like drinks with girlfriends after work or flying to Europe for a work conference. During my first trip, as I was walking the streets of Milan on my first day, it hit me: for the first time since having children, the constant ticker-tape of domestic responsibilities wasn’t running through my head. I distinctly turned to my friend and asked, “Is this what it’s like to be a man?” In that moment of incredible freedom, I resolved to renegotiate my relationship with my ticker-tape-driven life.

Yesterday on The Story I’m Telling Myself—a premier personal transformation and mindset podcast—Jenny White joined me to share her own profound reckoning between clinging to an old identity and giving herself permission to become someone entirely new.

Jenny was a retired ICU nurse when a life-threatening brain tumor required emergency surgery. She survived, but woke up with complete memory loss. She couldn’t walk, couldn’t speak, and didn’t even recognize her husband of two decades or her five children.

Her family brought out photo albums, desperately trying to remind her of who she used to be. But Jenny made a radical declaration:

“Please stop asking me if I remember when. This is the new me. Let’s make new memories instead.”

Instead of looking in the rearview mirror, Jenny treated her life as a blank slate. She put pen to paper in speech therapy, enrolled in online classes, rewired her brain, and transformed her life from a series of transactional tasks into a journey focused on genuine joy.

You don’t need a medical crisis to trigger your own personal reboot. Here is how you can apply Jenny’s hard-won wisdom starting today:

4 Actionable Steps to Rewrite Your Story Today:

1. Stop Driving by the Rearview Mirror Stop measuring your current worth against past achievements, past roles, or former identities. Give yourself permission to unbecome who you were so you can step into who you want to be today.
2. Shift from Task-Oriented to Joy-Oriented Are you running yourself ragged pleasing everyone else and checking off endless to-do lists?Start your morning by asking: “What can I do today that is going to bring me genuine joy?”
3. Take “Mount Everest” Baby Steps When facing a massive life shift or creative goal, don’t demand instant perfection. Focus on taking just one or two small steps forward every day. Consistent baby steps compound into massive transformation over time.
4. Honor Your Body with Unapologetic Grace Real resilience isn’t toxic hustle; it’s listening to your body when you hit a wall. Take the nap, put on music to interrupt negative thought loops, step outside into nature, and build a “Plan B” so you can navigate life’s speed bumps with grace.

​Catch the full episode here or on your favorite podcast platform beginning Thursday, and be sure to share it with a friend.

Ready to unbecome and allow the next, better version of you to emerge? Answer these four questions in the episode activation guide: ​​TSITM Ep 79 activation guide.pdf​

Reader, you may be exactly who you want to be. Still, Jenny reminds us how powerful it is to challenge ourselves to live with intention and focus on what truly brings us joy. I hope you give yourself permission to step into the wisdom of her words.

Cheers!

PS - I'd love to inspire your audience with a signature keynote on reducing organizational friction. Hit reply and let's chat.

​​​